Hold Nothing Dear

by Shirts Vs. Skins

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Hold Nothing Dear is a collection of songs about the five of us learning the hard way that sometimes things change, whether you want them to or not.

These are our stories, and we thank you for listening to them.


released August 2, 2013

-Recorded, mixed and mastered by Brette Ciamarra at Studio 344, except track 11, recorded by Sam Smith and Mike Baker.
-Cover design by Emily McLaughlin.
-Additional vocals on track 6 by Jesse Gruber and Laura McEwen.
-Zachary Hursh assisted in writing track 10.



all rights reserved


Shirts Vs. Skins Greensburg, Pennsylvania

2009-2015. Thank you for everything.

We were five kids with some stories to tell, if you've got the time to listen.


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Track Name: I Demand Euphoria!
I am stuck here in between what I want and what I need
I want to stay here by your side, but get away and make my life

Oh, I'm so afraid

I guess what I'm trying to say
is "I'll be keeping you close, just to push you away."
How do I find a way?
And there is nothing left to say

I want to grow, never be old
I want to stay here with my friends but change and grow

Oh, I guess I can't have them both

I'm having the time of my life
But still I want even more
Everything sucks but nothing sucks,
of this I'm totally sure

(I'm afraid of what's to come)

This town may not be a university, bright lights or the city
But this town is mine, and it's brought out the best in me

Though I hold nothing dear to me,
You have brought out the best in me
Track Name: Flood Gates
Where did you go?
Headed out with kids you hardly know

Her new look, her friends, the way she acts,
I feared it was just far too much, much too fast
All I want to know is,
is this your way of fighting back?
Or is this who you were all along?

You weren't meant to end up on your knees
every weekend for someone new,
spending nights too far gone, I swear it can't be you
(And I hope that you find)
And even though you still live down the street,
(your way back home)
I think you left forever when finally set free

I had such high hopes for you
You stood apart from everyone that we knew
And I won't condemn them for what they do,
but still it proved to be too much for you in the end

You were one I hoped I could count on to never be like them
Those kids who never find what they need
Knee deep in vice, with no end in sight

Now I'm afraid things won't be the same
If we ever spoke again because of how we both have changed
(We've changed)
And I've heard things about you that I'm sure you wouldn't want me to know, oh no

But I like to think you'd like to know I wrote this for you
And I hope that you find your way home.
Track Name: Call It A Favor
I couldn't resist it any longer
I couldn't have stayed any stronger
Cause letting down the walls meant answering the call
And what a call it was

Now I can't get it out of my mind
Your limbs and mine, intertwined
Foggy windows breaths so heavy and deep,
I don't think I'll ever sleep

Cause you know, you've got what I need

You can have it all, you can have everything
Let's see what this can be

Why resist? I'm here with open arms
Let's escape this tiny town tonight, let's be bigger than we are
You can take it, take it, take it, oh
Take it, take it all from me

Now I'm thinking it's time to go
Singing our song as we drive down the road
You pull up to the curb, and I sneak home
You tell me sleep well, but you know that I won't

Cause I've got so much running through my head
To think I could've had you long ago
You pull me in so close

Call it a favor, call it anything you want
Just call me when you pull out front

I found what I've been missing
It came to me in between the seats and there is no recovering,
I'm trapped and under way too deep

So take it all from me
Track Name: Commencement
I felt it coming
I saw it storming a million miles away
I hate this feeling, wishing you farewell
I just don't know what to say

Cause lately, I think too much
I'm crazy and it's empty here without you
But I want you to understand

I'm so happy for you, but I'm so sad to see you go
I don't want you to forget me, I don't want to be here left all alone
Nothing in this place makes any sense,
Nothing in this place but music, you, and my friends

You really showed me that this place will always be my one and only home
Staying up late, staring at the sky
I've been lost here, without you by my side

Lately, I think too much, I must be crazy
Lately, it's empty here without you
But I want you to understand,
No, I need you to understand

I'm so happy for you, but I'm so sad to see you go

You always listened when I said nothing at all
You were always there to catch me before I knew that I would fall
And I thank you
But now I need you to understand

I'm afraid of what's to come

I don't want you to forget me
Don't leave me here alone
Track Name: Eros Turannos
You're sitting at his feet doing just what you're expected
But you're letting yourself down, all your morals left neglected

You'll say it's a process all for the happy ending
But you aim for picture perfect, and you'll just keep on pretending

Forget about the pictures, look inside a mirror
See the sadness in your eyes
You could save yourself, cause I know damn well you don't believe in your own lies

But still you smile and play along
To fix the fights that happen every day
And it kills me when you smile
You say things were rough but now it's all okay

It's not okay

He's tearing you apart, and you'll just keep on pretending
Cause the pictures show a life, a bride, a groom, a future wedding

So if you're listening

You're so excited for the future,
But I can't help but believe you're only excited to get away from him,
from here, from everything

Still you smile and talk about the wedding
You're not even eighteen

(You're so alone together)

You don't believe in your own lies
No, you don't
Track Name: Dear Jill,
There were stories in those painted walls that you could feel inside your bones
From the first time that I walked in, I never felt more at home

They looked like giants when I was young,
Those bands that cut their teeth downstairs
Local legends came and went,
But you could feel them in the air

You've seen better days, and I understand nothing more could be done
But that doesn't make it easier to swallow the news that your place is gone

Out of an old store front on the corner of Clay Avenue and nowhere
You did something incredible, a living saint of a woman
You made something from nothing and gave every last bit away
And it's because of you that I am standing here today

But I refuse to say goodbye
What was built here will never die, no
We know it won't be long till we meet again

It's out of our hands to fix the damage done
There was nothing we could do
You've got your son to take care of, and I'm sure this has been wearing on you

But we'll keep singing till there's no air left in our lungs
But we'll keep singing until every last word has been sung

But we'll keep singing because we couldn't stop if we tried
But we'll keep singing cause it's become such a part of our lives

But we'll keep singing with you always in our hearts
But we'll keep singing just for the sake of our art

But we'll keep singing like we learned to in that building
Until the day we've passed on all you've done
Track Name: A Bit Bitter
Like glass we shattered (we scattered)
Out into the dark on our own
I can't place an exact date, but I know these days are gone

We're trading memories away for the right things to do and say
I hope that it's all worth it in the end
No I don't mean to offend, I don't hold anything against anyone
I'm just trying to have fun but the tension in the room, it clouds my view

We're all the same in our own stupid ways
So don't be quick to talk your shit
We're guilty of the same things

Everyone is looking for a fight that no one needs
I guess we all had to fall apart eventually
I just hope that you won't forget it when I say
"I'd kill to go with you back to those days"

I can't believe the things you said or the things I did
And we're too old to write it off as just being kids
We never thought it'd come to this
We never wanted it to come to this

Do you regret the bitter words you spit?
Because I'd take back every stupid thing I did
If I had known it'd come to this
I never wanted it to come to this

Look, I just miss too many of us in parking lots
On the longest nights we all forgot
It's funny how only the things you wish would change ever stay the same
And the things you'd keep forever always go and change

I understand that you're down, but don't confuse causes for excuses
I know that we won't be the same, but holding on has become useless

It wasn't perfect, but still I miss it
Track Name: Temerity
It didn't take much to change me, just someone to tell me I was no good
If I sound a little cocky, trust me
By the end of this, I'll be completely understood

I had a few months to myself to roam fast and free
Without the constant nagging and fighting that love seems to bring
I sweat out the fever and I never looked back
Being reckless and stupid, I learned most from that

I let it hold me
I let it say

Hey, I've got a lot on my brain
I am done being good, I am done playing games
So judge me, you'll just be wasting your time
I'm not looking for love, just some peace of mind

I've decided it's the saddest thing
To be someones crutch so soon, so young
You stop believing and trusting in anyone
Just to keep from being harmed

We grow up believing "for better or worse"
But you'll never be wronged if you put yourself first

But soon someone will be worth letting in
I'm afraid I'll have to cross that bridge when I get to it

I'm just looking for peace of mind
Track Name: Enough Bones For Us Both
I wiped her tears, I listened to her cry
Over the boy who never seemed to have time

I've always hated people like me
But I never gave much mind to mirrors

So I'll just get to sleep and tell myself "we were just kids."

Do you believe I was the one who convinced her to call it off?
Then months later, made that very same boy mine

And how I'd test the water, always pushing her down under further
Taking for granted and I didn't even think enough to regret it

At this point I know I've dug too deep
To ever truly fix things between them and me

Strung along behind for so long
I wish she wouldn't have held on

But I can't say that I went down without a fight
I tried to push my feelings on to another guy
Oh, the way I led him on
It was disgusting, it was wrong
And once it was all over, I lost two friends, but gained a lover

As a parting gift what I'll get is that awful tightness in my chest
Every time someone else attracts her interest
And if there's anything I hope this taught you
(At her expense I learned best)
It's that everything your father said about boys is true
(And all that's left is the ruins of us both)

It's funny, all the things I did to get to him
It's funny, cause I'd do them all again

Now I'm nothing but loose change lost under your bed
And I'll never be anything more again because of what I did

We were just kids, but I wouldn't ask you to forgive
Track Name: We Grew Up In Your Backyard
I found a letter I wrote back in eighth grade this week
And I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be

I drove to your neighborhood last weekend to see how things had changed
Your house still looks okay, but I feel like it's starting to age
And Copper passed away, I'm just glad the poor girls out of pain
And the weather vane sits on your roof but it doesn't spin the same

It's naive to say I miss it, and I hope that you do too
I'd give anything just to turn back time with you
And these streets they are so different from the ones we said we know
I'd give anything for just me, the boys, and you

It sucks that Marlene's little store is gone now
They may even tear it down
Sean's old place is still for sale
It's been years since they moved out

Where did all the kids disappear to?
I need to know so I can find myself with them again

For the better part of eighteen years I'd always known that you'd be here
Now I'm left to wonder where we went wrong

Where did we ever go wrong?

(We took life for granted while we ran these streets
No one could touch us, we were royalty
And I miss it, and I wish that things were different
But we all had to move on)
Track Name: Firefly
It's the most beautiful, sad thing
The best memories are the most heartbreaking

Like trying to catch a ghost with a net
Time slips right through your hands
And all you're left with is a heart that wants so much for the past
And an empty pair of hands
That want so much for the things you wish you still had

It hasn't been as nice at night these last few days
And the sky has turned a darker shade of grey
And it's true that I've been feeling colder, too
I can take comfort knowing I'll be warm when I'm with you

Though they aren't quite the same, they'll be shining just as bright in their own way
And I can't wait to see how brightly they will shine for you and me
Counting fireflies as they flicker out
It's something you'll never forget about
Just please remember, they'll be back like new in the summer

Just please, please remember
Track Name: Compass
As I stared at the flowers beneath my feet, I felt the change you made in me

I've been in a bad place for a few months now
I've been having trouble with these changes
They were all starting to get the best of me

I spent too many nights alone just sitting and brooding and waiting and hating

All at once, I think I understood what it means to grow up
And even though I have miles left to go, at least now I know what it is that I need
I feel the change you made in me

I'm always guilty of something
Of pessimism and seeing the worst in things
But theres a silver lining
You've drawn out for me the blueprints of what not to be

I finally see how I've been wrecking things
And I swear I won't go on this way

The turning point came on your porch
I opened up to you more than I ever did to anyone before
The way you read me, hearing my thoughts out loud,
The words you said so calmly, it all seems so obvious now
The things I need to be someone I'd like to see
Looking back at me in the mirror every morning

Someday I'll be the person that I want to see always looking back at me

I will be someone
I will be something

Looking back at me
Track Name: Hold Nothing Dear
I've been learning in the hardest ways that everything, it has to change
Experience is the best teacher, but in the end it's left me reeling
When things are constant for so long, it's so hard to keep sight of how much they really mean, and if they were gone, where you would be

There's nothing wrong with loving what you have
Just understand, in a second, it becomes "what you had"
So live wherever you land
And never be afraid to change the faces, places and hands

Now in my nights alone I'm content, I'm starting to feel at home
And even though I lost some things, I swear I won't let it get the best of me

And I swear I won't go on this way

A tight, shaking fist is all that's left when you cling to the past with no hope or thought for what's left
And it just crumbles, it crumbles away

I'm growing up slow, but getting old so fast
Me and my friends said forever, but some things don't last
Now I don't know what I want anymore
But of one thing, I'm sure

(I'm not afraid anymore)

The day you stop holding on is the day you won't have to anymore

(I still have so much left to say)

It's time to move along

(I'll still hold some things dear to me)

(I will be someone, I will be something)

It's time to move along